this is the end...come see me at http://www.xanga.com/highdiveresidency

I hope you all decide to join me in my new home...

if not-- thanks for chillin with me the last couple months.

Currently Playing 200 Km/H in the Wrong Lane By Tatu Clowns (Can you see me now?) see related

I'm considering ending this journal, and starting a new one under a different name...theres so much in this one that i dont neccesarily need to hang on too.

but maybe I'm not ready to close the door to those feelings yet. I'd hate to create something new only to carry over the old into it.

whatever---enough.

after my last post, i went out with tara to dunkin donuts, then stayed at her place. we were up MAD late(4ish), then i spent monday painting at julie's. AWESOME time. :) I missed her!

I love my friends. God has blessed me so greatly with family and friends who continue to show me His inifinite love every day. As if seeing His love throughout my life wasn't enough, He uses each and every person in my life to reiterate His unfailing love to me. I only pray that people can say the same about me.

So i read Sarah's post...I totally agree with her, and it brings me to the point of this--- I get so tired of Contemporary Christianity sometimes. when i say contemporary christianity i mean people who think that listening to gospel or steven curtis chapman and being all perfect and "give it to God" are the only Christians. just as all of our relationships with others in life are dependent upon our personality, our relationship with God is as well.

Be real...Be you...Be up front with God. He knows when you're faking it. don't follow the "Christian" mold that has been set forth for us since baptist academy. dare to step out and get dirty to help the world. ya know what-- life CAN suck sometimes...and God knows it too.

But everyone has to find out their likes and dislikes and their own "God-personality". I'm not downing steven curtis chapman or people who listen to gospel...not at all. I'm just saying be yourself...thats the only way to go.

***parting words*** --Every day is lost in which we do not learn something useful.--

Be open to whatever God has to show you today...but dont constantly be searching.

Lynne lost her soda tonight at work and looked everywhere and couldn't find it--- I found it by the welcome mats...in plain sight...sometimes it takes a second person...

the last 16 hours have been awesome.

I came home again, but made a late pitstop last night at jake's. he and tara were still up when i got there at 130...we chatted for a bit, looked at old pics--very cute-- then tara and i split the couch, talked for a bit ( i missed that alot!) and zonked out. woke up to lucy the giant german shep licking my face...pleasant as always. haha. we went to church then at trinity ECC... i hadn't been there in 2 years, so it was weird to be back...but nice. kinda like home. :)

so the sermon was about suffering and why God puts us through it...and the pastor made a lot of points that i had never considered before. like the verse--- God works for the good of those that love him--- this doesn't mean that their lived will be all fine and good..its means that God knows whats best and fulfills it. stuff like that...i mean, it seemed so commonplace-- and maybe it was just novel to me b/c I didnt know it but the rest of you did...whatever. :) I thought it was a really great message.

going to church there....2 years later...all the times i went there before, and never really paid attention..just kinda wrote notes to tara or josh..and now 2 years later I was intent on the message..i dunno. that was a really bad sentence--- not grammatical in any fashion..but my point is that i can see my maturity in that way. and i also see that i dont have to be in PBU to learn about God. I can learn just by going to church and ACTUALLY paying attention. I would love to be able to get involved in a Youth Group or something.

Hanging out with my friends has been awesome too...I love them so much. I seriously think i have the best friends any one could ask for.

I love being home. and i can feel a difference already in my thought patterns and everything. this semester is really helping me....

God Rocks